Posts Tagged ‘family court reform’

Liar

“If her lips are moving, she’s lying.”

That’s what my husband told me about his ex-wife pretty early on in our relationship. He didn’t say it with malice, just stated it as fact. Over the years I have thought many times about how accurate this statement turned out to be.

Some people wouldn’t know truth if it jumped up and bit them on the ass. That statement definitely applies to the ex-wife. She has told more lies than I can count. It’s a way of life for her. She has lied about so many things that have affected me over the years and I have not had the opportunity to publicly refute them.

Some of her lies have been to people I know at work and in the community. Telling people that I “stole” her children. No one stole her children. She lost custody because she was unfit to care for them. She repeatedly put them in situations that children should never be in, and continually exposed them to men and boys she was involved with sexually. She was court ordered to take parenting classes. Not me. Not my husband.

She repeatedly told the children that I was the reason she and my husband were not together. Really? Guess that makes me pretty powerful considering when she started having sex with high school students I lived over 700 miles away and wouldn’t meet my husband for another 7 years. No, the reason my husband was not with her had nothing to do with me. She could have been the last woman on earth and he wouldn’t have been with her.

She once filed a countersuit in court that included a statement that the family counselors said I should not be allowed to be alone with the children. Both family counselors denied that and were willing to testify in court. Settlement was reached out of court so once again, I did not have the opportunity to confront her. In actuality, the court appointed family counselors were requesting that SHE only have supervised visitation with the children. It wasn’t me who was the unstable person in their lives.

She accused me of child abuse. Yep, that’s right, the one who has had the police called on her for physical abuse…the one who has preyed sexually and emotionally on teenagers for years…reported ME for child abuse. Thankfully, we had taken all four children to visit the family counselor following the incident in question and it was noted that the child I supposedly abused had no marks on her. However, when she got to school that morning after being driven there by the ex she suddenly had marks under her eye and claimed I had struck her face. The DHS judge called her actions a “gross manipulation” of the system. I’m not gonna lie, it has been frustrating, not being able to call her out publicly on all of her bullshit.

But the lie that tops all lies, the one I would most like to hear, is the lie (or lies) she has told the children over the years to turn them against us. Part of me understands her turning them against me. She is insecure and threatened by me as a woman, and as a mother. But why would she turn her children against the man that is a dedicated father to them? A solid male role model. She told the children long before we even knew that one of them was not the biological child of their Dad. What exactly did she tell them? She was married to their Dad at the time, yet having sex with someone else that resulted in pregnancy. She passed this child off for over TEN years as his, collecting child support, medical expenses, sending her with him for visitation, then when she gets caught and called out on it, suddenly HE is the bad guy? I want to know what line of CRAP did she tell them to make HIM the bad guy? And now that they are adults, why can’t they see it? Why do they continue to support her lies?

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A Shrink for Men

Company Overview
A support site for men in relationships with abusive women and the non-abusive family and friends who love them.

Mission
To educate and empower¬†men who are being emotionally abused by their wives, girlfriends or boyfriends. To help people realize that love isn’t synonymous with control, shame, pain and guilt. To remind people that it’s never too late to break free of the trap of abuse and find happiness.