Liar

“If her lips are moving, she’s lying.”

That’s what my husband told me about his ex-wife pretty early on in our relationship. He didn’t say it with malice, just stated it as fact. Over the years I have thought many times about how accurate this statement turned out to be.

Some people wouldn’t know truth if it jumped up and bit them on the ass. That statement definitely applies to the ex-wife. She has told more lies than I can count. It’s a way of life for her. She has lied about so many things that have affected me over the years and I have not had the opportunity to publicly refute them.

Some of her lies have been to people I know at work and in the community. Telling people that I “stole” her children. No one stole her children. She lost custody because she was unfit to care for them. She repeatedly put them in situations that children should never be in, and continually exposed them to men and boys she was involved with sexually. She was court ordered to take parenting classes. Not me. Not my husband.

She repeatedly told the children that I was the reason she and my husband were not together. Really? Guess that makes me pretty powerful considering when she started having sex with high school students I lived over 700 miles away and wouldn’t meet my husband for another 7 years. No, the reason my husband was not with her had nothing to do with me. She could have been the last woman on earth and he wouldn’t have been with her.

She once filed a countersuit in court that included a statement that the family counselors said I should not be allowed to be alone with the children. Both family counselors denied that and were willing to testify in court. Settlement was reached out of court so once again, I did not have the opportunity to confront her. In actuality, the court appointed family counselors were requesting that SHE only have supervised visitation with the children. It wasn’t me who was the unstable person in their lives.

She accused me of child abuse. Yep, that’s right, the one who has had the police called on her for physical abuse…the one who has preyed sexually and emotionally on teenagers for years…reported ME for child abuse. Thankfully, we had taken all four children to visit the family counselor following the incident in question and it was noted that the child I supposedly abused had no marks on her. However, when she got to school that morning after being driven there by the ex she suddenly had marks under her eye and claimed I had struck her face. The DHS judge called her actions a “gross manipulation” of the system. I’m not gonna lie, it has been frustrating, not being able to call her out publicly on all of her bullshit.

But the lie that tops all lies, the one I would most like to hear, is the lie (or lies) she has told the children over the years to turn them against us. Part of me understands her turning them against me. She is insecure and threatened by me as a woman, and as a mother. But why would she turn her children against the man that is a dedicated father to them? A solid male role model. She told the children long before we even knew that one of them was not the biological child of their Dad. What exactly did she tell them? She was married to their Dad at the time, yet having sex with someone else that resulted in pregnancy. She passed this child off for over TEN years as his, collecting child support, medical expenses, sending her with him for visitation, then when she gets caught and called out on it, suddenly HE is the bad guy? I want to know what line of CRAP did she tell them to make HIM the bad guy? And now that they are adults, why can’t they see it? Why do they continue to support her lies?

Advertisements
Comments
  1. Karaboo says:

    Because if they admit the truth, then they also have to accept the truth of who she is. And if she is a liar, cheater and molester, then as her children, what does that make them?

    It takes a strong person to be able to separate themselves from the actions of a parent. All our lives, phrases like “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” bombard us. There is some truth to it, but only maturity and the willingness to dig deep down and realize that actions of a parent do not have to define a child. They aren’t there yet. They may never be there.

    It isn’t a failing of you or your husband. Rather, it is another abuse the Ex has heaped upon her children. Be gentle with the kids as best you can. They will carry these scars with them forever. 😦

    • You are right, Karaboo, but it is SO hard to accept. We do try to be gentle and forgiving with them. Always here when they need us, which is usually the only time we hear from them and that does get hard to take. She has indeed heaped dysfunction on them.

  2. 💔 heartbreaking. The lies! So frustrating I know. My stepdaughter’s mom even lies when there is no benefit to do so! It’s insanity to me.

What are your thoughts?

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s